Day One: Finding God on the Main Street of Kansas

The travel giggles have ensued.  After a long day on the road Brent and I find everything hilarious.  For instance, not a mile outside of Denver, Brent's temper elicited a "stupid hillbilly" to a driver riding on our tail.  The inflection made it funny at the time, but now, 14 hours after leaving home, it's hilarious.  Prior to the hillbilly leaving us in his dust, we passed a Bass Pro Shop.  I turned to Brent and said, "That looks bigger than the one we went too." And he said, "That IS the one we went to.  Don't you remember the Target?"  I didn't believe him and was convinced we'd gone to a different one on the west side of I-25.  The trusty iPhone settled the debate.  Brent 1, Angie 0.

Fifty some odd miles later, Brent got the urge to track down a branch of his bank nearby.  We used the Garmin and the iPhone to do some searching.  The searches were slow in returning results so I studied the passing towns like a student preparing for a test.  I looked my hardest to find a sign for his bank among the golden arches and green dinosaur signs.  With no luck, I turned to Brent, "We should have brought some birnoculars so that I could see further in to town."  Brent said to me, "Birnoculars? How do you spell that?" And I proudly said, "B-I-R-N-O-C" and then I paused and saw the smirk on his face.  He told me to look it up.  And the trusty iPhone settled that debate.  Brent 2, Angie 0.

Other random topics of discussion included the aerodynamics of cars.  Some semi-trucks now have fins between the tires and below the trailers for aerodynamic reasons.  I told Brent I thought they were safety.  I was going to use the iPhone to dig myself a deeper hole so I took his word for it.  He started rambling on about how semis would be way more fuel efficient if the tapered in the back like they do the front because there would be less drag.  My comment..."So what you're saying is, the Oscar Mayer weenie mobile has something going for it!"  Brent shook his head and said, "Yeah, I guess so."  From now until it happens, I will always think semis should look like big giant hotdogs.

Our first pit-stop was in Watkins, Colorado.  Brent had to relearn how to swipe a credit card.  While the gas pump told him to remove it rapidly, the old woman's voice growling from the speaker telling him to swipe it again slowly.  Two trys later the petro flowed.  When I walked in the station I said, "Gosh, you'd think he'd never pumped gas before."  She laughed and blamed it on their machine.  She said a lot of people get frustrated and leave.  I told her it was the first stop on our road-trip so we were still in good spirits.  She told us about getting lost in Nebraska on a road trip once.

We made a stop in Burlington, Colorado in search of the illusive bank.  While enroute, we were stopped by every single stop light, which were a block apart from each other.  Once we found the bank, we found that it was closed.  PoDunk America for you.  So we drove around a few blocks and then took a potty break.

Then it was back on the road and into the great state of Kansas.  While I warned Brent I wanted to get a picture by the Kansas sign, he failed to take his foot off the gas upon seeing the Leaving Colorful Colorado sign and we flew right past the Welcome to Kansas sign.  He said he could flip around and go back through but somehow that idea cheapened the whole affair.

I settled on a photo by the Kanorado sign.  Yes, that's Kanorado.  It's a border town about 500 yards east of the border.  There's not much left of the town.  All dirt roads lead to boarded up stores and rundown houses.  After a bumpy trip up and down a few streets, we took off back down the highway towards Goodland.  On the way we passed an "I-70 is the Main Street of Kansas" billboard.

Goodland, Kansas was a bustling little town.  We took the downtown business loop to the north side of the town and then wound our way through some neighborhood streets to Goodland's Main Street.  We stopped for lunch at the On the Rocks Cafe.  I got my first official heavy sigh and eye rolling from Brent for toting my camera with me into the restaurant.  I'm glad I did, check this meal out...

Chicken fried steak sandwich.  $6 bargain!  So good.  My arteries start hardening just thinking about it.  As Brent said after leaving, "You can have anything you want there, as long it's fried." French fried, fried potato chips, chicken fried steak.  Brent had the pork tenderloin sandwich, which looked an awful lot like my sandwich.  It was a very tasty meal.  Thanks for the memory, Goodland.

After lunch, I took the wheel.  I must clarify that had I been a passenger for this stretch of road, there would be a lot more photographs involved.  The billboards became more and more entertaining with each passing town.  First we'd see the silo towers from the distance.  Then we would see the massive town church.  And then we'd see the billboards.  Tucked amongst the dying cornfields and grain surghum were handmade signs erected by the more evangelical Kansans.  "Adoption not abortion," "Choose life, your parents did," "Jesus is real" stood anxiously awaiting the damned on the outskirts of each town.  Some were more elaborate than others.  A few had paintings of Jesus and "Jesus trusts in you" painted below his open arms.   The best Jesus is a rockstar billboard was just outside of Abilene...

That's right, folks.  Jesus heals and restores, pornography destroys.  The best part of the whole thing isn't even the picture.  Directly past this billboard was a HUGE sign for an adult bookstore and the bookstore itself.  I was so excited I got a picture of the sign but bummed by my missed opportunity to juxtapose the signs.  Oh well.  I'm sure there are more religiously motivated signs to come!!

We made a quick pitstop in Salina for fuel...along with most truckers on the interstate.  Then we finally made it to Abilene!!  I quickly snapped pictures of everything Eisenhower I saw.  The history girl inside me squeed with excitement.  I can't believe I'm finally here!!  We arrived at our destination, Abilene's Victorian Inn just in time for check-in.  We were welcomed by our host Adrianne and given a tour.  Brent saw a sign for a twilight trolley tour at 7 pm.  Adrianne told us that it stopped by the inn to pick up guests near the start of its tour so we decided we would wait for that before eating dinner.

The trolley never came.  We were stood up by the trolley.  But we did get to hang out on the front porch swing and watch the world go by at Abilene's speed, which is 30 mph.  The train whistle blew.  And blew.  And blew.  Tracks surround the town so when a train goes through, it's a steady 20 minutes of train horn.  After coming to terms with being stood up by the trolley, we hopped in the car and went to find some grub.  We ended up at a place recommended by Adrianne - La Fiesta.  It's Abilene's hometown Mexican restaurant.  It was darn good too!

Then as if we didn't have enough miles under our belt for the day we cruised the night time streets of Abilene.  We found Old Abilene Town, the C.W. Paker Carosel, the Greyhound Hall of Fame, and the Museum of Telephony.  We also passed the Eisenhower Center!!  My heart beat sped up as I laid eyes on what I'm sure was the Eisenhower Library and Archives.  Some lucky archivist gets paid to work their amongst his papers!!

Once we returned to the Inn the trolley forgot, we wandered the downstairs rooms.  The whole place has character.  Brent wants the radio which is tuned into some cool 1940s music.  The dining room had two cookies left for the taking.  Perfect evening snack for these two mighty travelers!!  The giggles ensued for sometime but now the sound of snoring surrounds me.  It's time to say goodnight, Abilene.